A Prayer is a Call for Help
by j'adore macabre
Summary: "Just say the word and I'd drag you out myself." He opened his eyes to look heavenward and whispered "Cas" with a hint of a plea. "Please, at least let me know you're not dead."


Dean woke with a gasp, skin drenched in a cold sweat and his heart stuttering in his chest. His eyes strained in the darkness as he threw his legs over the edge of the bed and rubbed a hand wearily over the stubble of his cheek. He counted his breaths, trying to calm himself, but he shook his head and gave a low growl of frustration. Without another thought, Dean rose to his feet and grabbed his jacket and boots as he left his room.

Padding quietly passed Sam's door on bare feet with the concrete floor cool beneath his feet, Dean pulled up a chair in their small library and pulled on his boots.

"Dean?"

Dean looked up to see his brother leaning against the doorway of his room, brow furrowed in worry.

"Going somewhere?" Sam asked.

Dean finished tying his laces and stood. "I'm, uh, going to take a walk, clear my head for a bit."

"You ok?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm good. Get to bed, Sam. I'll be back in a few."

Sam drummed his fingers on the doorframe and looked hesitant before he gave a resigned sigh. "Alright." He shrugged slightly and slipped back into his room.

Dean waited a second before he left. The night air was cold on his skin and he walked aimlessly in the light of the full moon with the creak of the trees and rustle of leaves to accompany him. Finally, he came to a halt and looked up at the moon. A cavernous pain began to fill his chest and his breath hitched.

"Cas," He whispered in the sudden silence. "Please, if you can hear me just…Give me a sign, buddy. Let me know you're alright."

The seconds ticked by, then the minutes. Dean lowered himself on to his knees and his hands slowly came together. He let his eyes close and took a deep breath.

"Cas, I need you. I don't need your help, just you. Just you. So, please, let me know you're ok because…I'm worried about you, buddy. Whatever those angel dicks are doing up there, whatever they're making you do…Just say the word and I'd drag your ass out myself." He opened his eyes to look heavenward and whispered "Cas" with a hint of a plea.

There was a snap of twigs on the ground behind him and Dean leapt to his feet and spun on his heel, his heart slamming against his chest in excitement.

The corner of Sam's mouth turned up in a sad understanding smile. "I don't think he's going to answer."

Dean looked back up at the moon, his hands clenching into fists at his side. "He has to, Sam. He _has_ to."

"Let's go back inside. It's freezing out here."

Shaking his head and giving his brother a sad grin, Dean turned around and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Go on in. Just give me a minute."

"I'll wait with you."

"Can you just give me one goddamn minute?" Dean snapped, looking over his shoulder. "Please, Sam."

"Dean, I…I don't want to see you get hurt."

"What are you saying?"

"That there's something wrong in heaven. We don't know what it is, how bad it is. Everything's screwed up like always and maybe, just maybe, you should ease up a little."

Dean stared at Sam incredulously. "You want me to give up on Cas? Is that what you're saying?"

"God no." Sam looked hurt. "I've been praying to him too but this is eating away at you. I want Cas back just as much. Not just to know he's ok but for you. I want to know_ you're_ ok."

"There's always something." Dean paused, tip of his tongue darting out to lick his lips. "We've got an actual place now and a way to close the gates of hell. I just want him to be here so that I know…"

"Me too, Dean. I get it, I really do." Sam shifted, shivering as a cold wind blew. "Come on, we'll try again in the morning."

Dean glanced behind him one more time. He hoped with everything he left that just maybe the angel would be standing there. There was nothing but trees and the soft rustle of leaves. So, he followed his brother back, his feet dragging along in the dirt. Just as they reached the doorway, Dean heard his name. It was deep and almost a whisper, barely heard over the howl of the wind.

"Hey, hold up," Dean tapped his brother's arm with the back of his hand. "You hear that?"

"Hear what?" Sam turned back to look at him.

They stood there for a moment with baited breathes. Dean heard it again.

"You had to hear that."

"Dean, I didn't hear anything."

But the hunter was running back into the woods as fast as his feet could carry him, boots pounding into the ground. Sam shouted his name and followed at an easier jog. Skidding to a halt, Dean looked around. His breath grew rapid with expectation and dread because he knew the voice that whispered his name. He knew it intimately. And he ran again, not knowing or caring about the direction because he thought if he kept moving he'd find Cas, and he could end this gnawing worry in his chest. He'd rather a hellhound over the anxiety.

There was a sharp pull on Dean's arm that brought him to an abrupt halt. He spun, instincts bringing up a fist but reflexes stopping him.

"Dean," Cas whispered, blood flowed down his cheeks like tears. "Dean, run."

The hunter opened his mouth to ask why. They had a safe place now, and Cas could come and they would all be safe. They could stop running. But the angel disappeared. Faster than Dean could blink, Cas left him standing there with his hand paused in reaching out to pull the angel into an embrace. The hunter swallowed against a lump in his throat and ran a hand roughly through his hair.

"Alright," He muttered through clenched teeth. "I'll come get you."


End file.
